Sunday, January 11, 2015
Monday, May 20, 2013
Super-Saiyan Bear Grylls Inner Chakra Strength Spam...from TechFoolery!
Hello Dearest,
I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, i appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter i feel quite safe dealing with you on this important business having gone through your remarkable profile, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my situation, My name is Miss Joyce Romio Yak, 25yrs old female from Southern Sudan in Africa.
My father Dr.Romio Yak was the former Minister of SPLA Affairs and Special Adviser to President Salva Kiir of South Sudan for Decentralization. My father Dr.Romio Yak, my mother including other top Military officers and top government officials where on board when their plane crashed on Friday May 02, 2008 near Juba the regional capital when they were returning from a political conference held in the town of Wau, South Sudan.
Some months after the burial of my father, my uncle conspired with my step mother and sold my father's properties to a Chinese Expatriate. On a faithful morning I opened my father's briefcase and found out documents which my beloved late father used and deposit money at a Bank in Burkina Faso,with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money so that I can start a better life and take care of myself. The Branch manager of the Bank whom I met in person told me that my present status does not permit me by the local law to clear money or make a transfer of money into an account, he advice me to provide a foreign trustee who will help me and invest the money or I should wait till when I will get married as it demand by their Authority.
I choose to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own blood sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well, I will say that my mind convinced me that you are the true person to help me. More so, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncle has threatened to assassinate me. The amount i USD19.8 Million} and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso . You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country.
However, you will help me by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your interest in helping me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Please do keep this only to your self. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over to you because I am afraid of my wicked uncle who has threatened to kill me.
Sincerely yours,
Miss Joyce Romio Yak
Responded with:
To Ms YAK,
My mind has convinced me, o' niece, that you shall be removed from this planet. Yes, it is I, Uncle Yakmeister Dearest, and I am tracking you in Burkina Faso as we speak. Your futile attempts to escape my wrath of destruction render useless, as my operatives are watching you this very moment. HAHA!
You see, my plans are working out perfectly. I conversed with a Mr. Joseph Gnoleba on constructing the greatest bomb device made of a tritium-3 flux capacitor detonation switch, capable of detonating an entire airplane only with the vicinity of poor Romio's DNA. With his DNA meshing with the molecular dissonance of the bomb, it set a timer to detonate after twenty minutes in the air, perfect for reaching above ten thousand feet when the captain turns off the seat buckle sign and passengers are free to use the lavatory or punch screaming kids.
Romio Yakko was in quite the bad position, as his political prowess was getting far too powerful for our investors to stand. Phone calls galore woke me up at night in cold sweats, as our investors aren't the kind to see their money waft away simply at the commands of a politician. I dodged sniper bullets like Hillary Clinton did in Bosnia. Someone even sent that clown fucker from the SAW movies after me, and he's mailed me videotapes showing what he might do to me if Romio were to stay in power.
Naturally, my sense of self-preservation and super-saiyan Bear Grylls inner chakra strength was channeled into finding Gnoleba, and thus we constructed the bomb. Unfortunately for me, I was unaware that YOU would be up for election for Romio's seat. Yes, it's true, you are next of kin, so the seat goes to you, and now I must remove all remnants of Yaks from the seat. I must admit I am not your blood uncle--I am no Yak. I must rid political seats of power of Yaks--NAY, I must rid the WORLD of them--in order to find the way, the truth, the life of being supreme dictator of the world. DOWN WITH YAKS! YAKS MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO SIT! I cannot let it happen, dear niece, as too much GOLD is waiting for the PLUNDER!
ALSO--
Always remember to eat your fruits and vegetables.
Love,
YOUR ESTRANGED UNCLE BARON VON YAKMEISTER THE TWENTIETH
Saturday, April 13, 2013
The website makes it real.
Moudjaidou Soumanou
RESPONDED WITH:
Dear Mr. Moudjaidou...er....Sojdmanjoujihadist
It must be nice using a computer in a cell. I'm using one in my apartment which has had no interior design done. It's simply a cube-shaped studio apartment with a tiny window and some roaches. In fact, my computer hasn't been upgraded at all in the past fifteen years. I'm allowed outside by the people in the white coats every now and then, but other than that it's just me and Crenshaw, the roach that comes around every now and then.
I like your BBC article. It features a lovely and handsome person on the front page. Is this in fact you? How wonderful. You certainly do deserve the money. Keep it, all of it, sir and get your starving family from Togo off the street corners (I used to frequent those, you know!) and back into your home. Hopefully you don't have roaches like Crenshaw.
Be safe,
Shmoozadood Moolajoobert
Monday, November 5, 2012
Happy times.
RESPONDED WITH:
Here, Charles and happy times. My emails morning were glorious, I am seeking. Acquainted. It is possible for us to often have correspondence Internets. George W. Bush gave us Internets. Here, Charles and happy times looks for you, no distraction. No Whammies. No children. No nightmares. No presents underneath trees in the third world country? None. Sometimes I looks at email then think why not? Champagne. Glorious champagne, bubbles in the air, on your face, on your body, all over your body, touch my body, body, like Mariah Carey, yes. Questions? You have questions. Charles and happy times has answers. Give, be one with the earth Lina and cheerful mood, and we will merge as one be it all the glorious nature of the desires what our Lord Baby Jesus.
Charles. Happy times.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Grammar fools in love.
with money and transmit me 405 pounds that I could will buy the ticket and to arrive to you at date of a birth. You can transmit me 405 pounds? Tell to me when you can transmit me 405 pounds? I so want to embrace you at first our meeting with you, my love. I very much would like to present you a longest kiss, That has felt all sweet of my fine lips. I very much want, that you have felt my gentle and strong embraces. I always dreamed of such person as you, my love. And I very much would like, that we were near to you, my love. I feel the small girl who has fallen in love with you without memory. To me it is very sad without you, without your embraces and gentle, tender kisses. I very much want to be with you, my Prince!!! I so want it!!!! With huge love and with all my tenderness yours Darya.
DEAR DARYA
MY PRINCESS, THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY LIFE. MOST WOMEN WOULD NOT DATE A CAPSLOCK MAN LIKE ME. THEY SAY ITS SHOUTING AND THEY CANT STAND IT WHEN I TWITTER THEM BECAUSE THEY SAY ITS TOO LOUD. I THINK RUN-ON SENTENCES GO PERFECTLY WITH CAPSLOCK. I DREAM OF YOU NIGHTLY YES. I CAN HELP WITH YOUR 405 POUNDS, BUT I MUST GET LIPOSUCTION FIRST AS I CANNOT REMOVE MYSELF FROM MY HOUSE WITHOUT FALLING OVER. THEN I CAN SHIP TO YOU MY DEAREST A TUB OF MY OWN HOT LARD. WHEN CAN WE BE TOGETHER? I DREAM OF HUGGING YOU IN MY MASSIVE, WARM EMBRACE. THANK YOU FOR LOVING A MASSIVE, CAPSLOCK HUNGRY FOOL THAT I AM. I WANT TO KISS YOU, BUT MY MANBOOBS ARE TOO BIG FOR THAT RIGHT NOW. WHEN I REMOVE MY FAT AND GIVE IT TO YOU, THEN I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU MY DEAREST THE KISS YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED. WE WILL BE TOGETHER SOON, EVEN IF MY FAT PREVENTS IT FROM BEING SO.
YOURS ALWAYS,
FATTIE MCCAPLOCK
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Revival of ye olde blog with a BIG BANG.
Dear Friend,
How are you? I hope all is well with your family, friends and pets. I hope this urgent mail meets you in a perfect condition. We have no time to waste regarding the information I am about to tell you, it is an urgent and serious matter.
My name is Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, senior data analyst here at the CERN institute based here in Geneva (http://public.web.cern.ch/public/). CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, is one of the world’s largest and most respected centres for scientific research. Its business is fundamental physics, finding out what the Universe is made of and how it works. You may have seen on the news that, in recent days, our Large Hadron Collider machine has been colliding high-speed beams of energy in order to explore new physics and understand how the universe began. CERN have been adamant that this is safe, however I KNOW THE TRUTH.
The truth is that this experiment that CERN are conducting is extremely dangerous, and could cause global disaster. This experiment has a 95% of causing a black hole, thus swallowing a large area of the planet. The scientists do not want you to know this as they know it will cause panic. However, I can help you.
I am arranging for a number of selected people to be evacuated to a safe location on an island in the South Pacific via aeroplane. You have been selected from random to take part in this evacuation, thus continuing the survival of the human race.
Please, if you are interested, email me back immediately with the following information:
Full name:
Age:
Contact number:
Country:
Email address:
Please send all emails to my private box: From > ***Email removed***
Regards, and God bless.
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
Mr. Fansworth,
You cannot handle the truth, Mr. Fansworth. Here is why--I, unlike you, am a black hole. Yes, I am existence that does not exist, I am alpha and omega, I am the center of the universe in which all existence cannot escape. You cannot escape my wrath, Farnsworth. You cannot handle the truth.
This email disgusts me. You say that you can re-create me inside of a particle-smashing tunnel? Haberdash! How can you create that which consumes all of existence? You cannot. This is a silly musing that makes me laugh. Here is my proposition to you and your little CERN tunnel:
Cease the operations of your silly play-toys, or else my extreme gravitational pull will eradicate all lifeforms of the universe. Are you familiar with the spaghetti theory? Yes, you will be hurled into a center of nothingness so fast that your entire being will be stretched so thin that you'll slip through a colander. All humans will be pulled into my realm of destruction. You think you can scamper to the South Pacific? HA! Even your sun will be blinked out. I am unstoppable. Rethink your craziness and perhaps I won't decide to consume you until another billion years passes.
Sincerely,
The Black Hole
Nowhere in the Middle of Nowhere
PS. If you find Higgs-Boson, let him know he's a douche.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Secret Code
You have won 1,000,000.00 (One Million Euros) Your electronic email address emerged as one of the Euro million on-line winning email sweepstakes program held on the 27th of September 2010 , in Brussels Belgium. Email Ticket Number X-3007893284-Z Reference Number: BEG/2551256008/07 Draw Lucky Number: 09-22-37-39-41-49-2-7 Batch Number: JPK14/0115/IP, Serial Number: HMML3214-07. Please note that the validity period of the winning is 27th of October 2010
CONTACT: Mr.Philipus Henks TEL: 0032-489-132-178
Reply to Email:euromillions2013@luckymail.com
NB: Please do not mail back through the alert email, contact Mr.Philipus Henks, via email:euromillions2013@luckymail.com
Sincerely,
Mrs. Angela Andreas
Response:
This is 34-Condor. 1137, do you read? This message is corrupt. The ducks are flying westward. The bell is in the pit, and the fireflies have left the garden. I repeat. The ducks are west. The bell is in. Fireflies have left.
Henks, are you contact 35? If 35, you can contact this: N31-DS6-THX-1138-D66-BSNC
Henks, repeat if viable option. 34-Condor out.
Not a good love
Response:
I'm sorry Remus, but it was you or the gerbil.
Business
I have a Business Proposal of 24,500,000.00 for you to handle with me
please reply me for more information.Contact me on my email:
sflockhart@yahoo.com.hk
Regards,
S.A Flockhart.
Response:
Sorry baby, I only handle people that I meet in person.
M A Hooker
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Ellen Orphanage Homes.
Dear Friend,
My name is Mrs. Ellen Hubbard, I wish to offer you a part-time job in which is of mutual benefit. I resigned from my job early last year as a research scientist for ARINI (Agricultural Research Institute of Northern Ireland) but still work part-time as a freelance consultant for the institute.My husband Mr. Dennis Hubbard and I presently reside at 4 Pasteur Gardens Edmonton London,N18 1JF England. However, due to the passion we have for children, we decided to run a humanitarian organization of saving the lives of the homeless and abandon children in order to contribute our quarter towards giving these Children's lives a meaning just as our God demanded of us to care for the homeless.
We presently have our orphanage homes in India, Somalia and Cotonou, Republic of Benin and we hope to get to other countries in time to come. We run this organization with the help of some individuals and companies who values the lives of these children and had made up their minds to send funds for their upkeeps.Most of our funding is from American friends whom we have solicited for their help and we are overwhelmed by their eagerness to send funds to us.
However we are finding it difficult receiving these funds as the bunch of the payments are in US based money orders and Checks which we find difficult to cash here in UK. To enable us receive all the donations, I wish to employ you on contract basis to be my payment representative back in the states, this way you will receive the Money Orders/Checks from our Donors, cash them easily, deduc 10% of the total amount in every payment as your commission and then send the rest back to me via Western Union wire transfer.
1. Receive Check/ Money Order payment from Clients
2. Cash Payments at your Bank
3. Deduct 10% which will be your percentage/pay on Payment processed.
4. Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any of the
Offices you will be contacted to send payment to (Payment is to be forwarded either by Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer).
HOW MUCH WILL YOU EARN?
10% from each operation! For instance: you receive 7000 USD via cheques or money orders on our behalf. You will cash the money and keep $700 (10% from $7000) for yourself! At this beginning, your commission will be 10% but willl increase as time goes on.
If you are interested in our offer, please reply directly to my Personal email address:
If you are interested with the job offer we will need you to furnish with this detailed information.
1)YOUR FULL NAMES: ................................................
2)CONTACT ADDRESS: ..................................................
3)DIRECT TELEPHONE ................................................
4)AGE & OCCUPATION:...............................................
Regards,
Mrs. Ellen Hubbard,
Ellen Orphanage Homes.
Dear Mrs. Ellen Hubbard,
How incredibly thoughtful of you to help the children. Yes, the children need our love. I myself am inclined to do such great works as what you have decided to pursue. Quite amazing indeed. Have I briefed you on what we here at American Nexus for Underappreciated Spawns do? We take the children in and give them hugs, yes. We give them meals made of love, we give them toys crafted from care. I myself had an absolutely WONDERFUL experience with a child last week.
You see, our beds here are made from the softest linens we can possibly buy, so it is quite tempting to sleep in the children's quarters. I myself find it quite an experience though. Last night I found our lost child Aaron lying in bed trying to go to sleep. Bless his heart, he was so lost and innocent-looking that I decided to climb in bed and snuggle up with some hot cocoa with him. I told him bedtime stories and I taught him about fun games with mice and gerbils.
Unfortunately I can't release my real identity, or else cops will come, raid my house, steal all my dirty magazines and then take my mice as well. I can only give you my first name--Michael. I do hope you find the proper person to take the money, dear. Have a lovely life.
Michael
Friday, November 5, 2010
The Bedroom Rat Chronicles, Part Two
The first step beyond was tame--many bushes, trees, leaves and smaller things buzzing around me. I was quite surprised to see such life outside the hole and it actually didn't seem so horrible. The grass was cool and the shaded sun was inviting. However, it wasn't out in the wild that Herb was lost. He was inside the house.
Inside of the window.
Near the giant.
Near the...guardian.
It was difficult to climb at first, but I was able to find substantial footing in the platforms. There were slight dips, almost like little rivers running through the platforms, and they were grey in color, but not fun to step into. I hated this method of getting inside, but for years my family tried to find a way in, only to end up creating a hole merely a few steps away from the first.
When I made it inside, I could tell I was in trouble. The immediate plop to the ground set the guardian to me at once, and only by the cover of a cold block could I escape. The thing was loud and metal, and when I sat near the hinged door, I could feel a freezing breeze. It was best to stay here, especially during the daylight.
Besides, the guardian's clawed swipe could not reach me under this behemoth. It was best to come out at night, although night and day here came at such odd intervals, as if the giant itself could command the sun to rise and fall at his entry and exit. I could hear his giant footsteps echoing throughout the floors, his portal would then open, and the sun would blink on at his command--such wizardry!
I'll stay here when I think that the guardian and giant have both left. I must find Herb!
The Bedroom Rat Chronicles, Part One
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Elementary
ROBERT MUELLER III
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.
Email:fbifiles@cortado.com
FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET
ATTENTION:BENEFICIARY,
We believe this notification meets you in a very good present state of mind and health.
We the Federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington, DC in conjunction with some other
relevant Investigation Agencies here in the United states of America have recently been
informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you presently have a
transaction going on with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regards to your over-due
contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favor accordingly.
It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening through this
project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your
contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have
the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay.Having said all this,
we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the Central Bank office
accordingly as we will be monitoring all their services with you as well as your
correspondence at all level.
In addendum, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive Governor
of the Central Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Prof. Chukwuma Soludo
and Mr. James Whetstine along with some of the top officials of the Ministry regarding
your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase depending
on when you personally come for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they
are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an
avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive
Governor and the Central Bank office.
We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs. Joan C. Bailey from OHIO has
already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations
evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the
release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight million united
states dollars), but the Central Bank office did the wise thing by insisting on
hearing from you personally before the go ahead on wiring your fund to the Bank
informations which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady so that was the main
reason why they contacted us so as to assist them in making the investigations.
They further informed us that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been
informed of the contract payment which was awarded to them from the Central Bank of
Nigeria, to be very careful prior to this irregularities so that they don't fall victim
to this ugly circumstance. And should in case you are already dealing with anybody or
office claiming to be from the Central Bank of Nigeria, you are further advised to STOP
further contact with them in your best interest and then contact immediately the real
office of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) only with the below informations accordingly:
Responded with:
Dear FBI,
Thank you. I would like to have 8 million dollars. My teacher says you guys are good
at what you do. I am to. I like to write many good stories that are like what you
write to me. I live in a house with chickens and cows and the chickens lay eggs and
we cook them and they are good. We need the 8 million dollars to be rich because my
dad went on Press Your Luck and got three whammies it is no good.
Who is this mrs bailey would she like a boyfriend I am on yahoo chat and I have an
awesome mullet. Tell her to please be my girlfriend and we need to meet on yahoo chat
i'm there all the time.
How do you say Chukwuma is that his name it is weird he needs to change his name to
something cooler like Mike I wish my name was Mike.
I think I did call the real bank of nigeria one time it was some funny number and some
guy told me to hold on the line while he got some one he called Dawn on the phone
and she sounded very pretty but she wanted to know how much money I had and I think
she would be happy if I gave her 8 million.
She went on and asked me what I wanted and I didnt know she asked me if i wanted something
called a bj and i told her that was not my name do u know what bjs are someone told me
theyre good 2 have but i dont know would 8 million be enouf for one.
Ok thank you give me a call so i can get my 8 million and my bj
stephen yung
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Large whats?
Mr. Mueller III,
Forgive me for being so forward, but this is Mr. Rainer Hesse. I was unaware you knew of my email address, although I am on those dating sites like Match.com so that's hopefully where you got it from.
I would be interested in large cums from you if that's in fact what you meant. I'm a backside boy, you see. While I'm certain the money you offer is not for me, would you be so kind to transfer it anyways to my account? I can give you large cums as well. I don't see your email address on any dating websites. Do you swing both ways? Don't tell my superiors--I'll get fired immediately. You know how it is for us gays, dodging the flak from higher-ups.
Mr. Khalizad is actually a lover of mine. Jesus, my ass still hurts from last weekend! Kindly send him a message thanking him for his services, as I'm far too shy to do it myself. Next time we'll have to play dress-up. I'll be the untrained pupil, he can be the teacher.
Would you wish to join? I've seen his collections of toys, and WOW it's like a dungeon of pleasure! There's room for three more, bring your friends. ;)
Sincerely,
Rainy
Monday, August 25, 2008
Mr Sadick--
I am glad you do not know me physically, you sick fucking bastard.
Regards,
Someone
Friday, August 22, 2008
Daniel's Response, sans email.
help getting ahold of some funds an ex-client of his who had neglected
to mention in her well. I, of course, would be well compensated for my
assistance.
Mike? Mike FINUCANE? I don't believe it!
How are you doing, old man? I haven't heard from you since that nasty
business with the FRC!
God does this brings back memories...remember that time we were
touring East Germany with Inga, and she let slip that your uncle
worked for SIS, and we almost got killed by that bunch of Commie
construction workers? My jaw still hurts to think about it!
Now that I think about it, it's no wonder you and Inga didn't work out
in the end. I still get a Christmas card from her every year…she
caught herself a Princeton man who owns a couple of big cattle ranches
in Montana. They're marketing a frozen version of her
schnitzel...which let's be honest, is probably the reason he married
her.
I'm doing pretty well myself. While I was still in the Navy, my
brother offered me a chance to help out the son of a deposed African
dictator by letting him use my account for fund transfers. We
developed such a reputation for reliability and reasonable rates that
royal family members were getting their dictators overthrown just to
take advantage of our services.
My other investments have done even better. A few dollars to a
long-shot Texas governor got me a slot as the Ambassador to Qwghlm,
which, as you may recall, is my ancestral homeland. To think how you
used to tease me for taking Qwghlmian instead of Pravic or Sindarin.
I suppose you have heard my now that our old companion Maximus has
passed on. He never really forgave you for that scene you made at his
Christmas party, where you got drunk and described in great detail
(and at great volume) the sexual congress you had enjoyed with both
him and his mother. Of course, Mackie- ever the gentlemen- chose not
to counter by pointing out that you have been unable to engage in
intercourses since the voluntary castration you underwent during your
brief foray into a neo-Skoptic religion. My god, man, what were you
THINKING?
As great as it is to hear from you, I'm afraid I won't be able to help
you with your project...ever since Umbrella's merger with
Weyland-Yutani fell through, I've let my brother handle the financial
side of the house.
Best of luck though,
Buzz
Crackwhores Anonymous
Dear Friend
In search of a Trustee.
Its me Mrs Rosemary King, i want to donate what I have to the needy.
You Could be surprised why i picked you. But someone has to do it. I am
old and living with HIV AIDS AND CANCER. I have been touched to donate from what I have
inherited from my late husband to charity through you for the good work
of humanity, rather than allow my relatives to use my husband's hard
earned funds inappropriately.
I hope to be fogiven for all my sins and I believe he has, because He
is merciful. I have been living with HIV AIDS for years. and i know that
the disease has no cure therefore i will surely die. I have made up my
mind to give out (Fifteen million united state dollars) towards the fight against
HIV AIDS and CANCER, and other human related diseases. I want this to be done
through you. Part of the money would also be used to help the motherless,
less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows. Presently, i
can not answer calls due to the fact that my relatives are around me and
I have been restricted by my doctor from taking telephone calls
because I deserve all the rest I can get.
Presently,I have informed my lawyer about my decision in donating the
funds. I wish you all the best, and please use the money well and always
extend the good work to others. If you are able to carry out this
task,i will inform my legal adviser so that he can arrange the release of
the funds to you. I know i have never met you but my mind tells me to do
this,and I hope you act sincerely.I will pay you a handsome amount of
this money if you will assist me because I am now weak to do things
myself because of my HIV AIDS.
Kindly reply me on my private email:(rosekingmyking@yahoo.com.hk)
NB: I will appreciate your utmost secrecy in this matter until the task
is carried out,as I don't want anything that will halter this my last
wish Love,
Mrs Rosemary King.
Mrs. Rosemary--
I'm sorry to hear that you can't pick up your phone and dial a couple of numbers, but I am glad to hear you can sit on your computer, find the time to find someone random in the world (especially ME! lol), and then type this email I have most graciously received.
I have seen a lot of your kind, the ones barely hanging on to life, suffering from limb-to-limb from flesh-eating STDs. My only wish is that you kind of people can be the example Africa and the rest of the world needs to stop anal sex from happening. Since anal sex is one of the leading causes of sharing STDs, I'm sure this probably happened to you. Were you reluctant at first to let your lover stick it in the pooper? Mine is exit only.
Or perhaps you were around the block far too many times? Yes, I know a few little girls that were like that. They never closed their legs, the whores. But I'm sure your case was different sweetie. I'm glad you're giving all your late husband's money to me so I can start bringing in the crackwhores, meth-heads, prostitues, and fuckbunnies and show them what real lives they can have after you die.
Where has the cancer spread to? Let's hope that the cancer eats away the HIV AIDS and then disappears. I know that in my heart you will find God one way or another because he meant you to have both AIDS and cancer, just like you meant me to have the money. I am not surprised to have this great bounty disposed of upon me. From this day forth, I'm going to clean up the streets starting with the first penny of your death money.
Go with God,
A former crackwhore
Sunday, August 17, 2008
FEDEX COURIER COMPANY
No 12 Air Port Road, Benin City.
West Africa Nigeria,
Telephone: +234 80 67 5721 04
Telephone: +234 80 67 5721 04
Good Day.
I am Mrs. Kate Hood Of the Fedex Courier Company,I have a Confirmable
BankDraft of $1,000.000.00 (One Million United States Dollars), that i
deposited the Draft with FEDEX COURIER SERVICE,West Africa,I travelled out
of the country for my hollidays and I will not reture back untill the end
of October.
I want you to try all your best and contact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE as
soon as possible to know when you will get this package to you because of
the expiring date.For your information, I have paid for the security
Keeping Fee,Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque
showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attackin
your Country.
The only money you will send to the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE to deliver your
Draft direct to your postal Address in your country is $100.00 USD only
Delivery Charge Fee of the Courier Company so far.Again,don't be deceived
by any person to pay any other money except $100.00 USD Dollars you are to
pay the Delivering Charge .I would have paid that but they said no because
they don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. You
have to contact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery of your
Draft with this below information.
=======================================
Contact Person: Mr. Barin White
Email Address: fedex_barinwhite@yahoo.com.hk
Telephone: +234 80 67 5721 04
Telephone: +234 80 67 5721 04
=======================================
Lastly, You are advice to send the below information to the Courier Company:
Your Full Name:......................
Your Sex:............................
Postal address:......................
Direct telephone number:.............
Do send it to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them
to give you the tracking number to enable you track your package over
there and know when it will get to your address.
Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Kate Hood.
Response:
Fuckin GOOD! I don want no terrorist attackin my fuckin country. This is US of A
and we're united under GOD HIMSELF prasie the baby Lord Jesus.
100 bucks? Shit i need to get on down to the sperm bank and shoot off a few rounds. I
hope they have the good porn this time, last time I went they gave me Colon Cowboys an I
didn't shoot shit cause it was some sorta Brokeback bullshit that I aint into.
That movie had purty horses in it though.
I prolly gotta sell the kids too. A million bucks? Shit I'd give em up for 100 to get that.
Maybe i'll give out some blood too, i've been hiding from dem fuckin collections folk they
keep callin me and even one time one showed up on the porch, so Bubba (he's the 10 year old)
grabbed the shotgun an made him remember who the Lord was praise the baby lord Jesus Christ
Almighty who will SMITE the fuckers who dare touch my holy porch!
I have a question though, if the money came from Nigeria...did you clean it? I mean...it
weren't tainted by the hands of the unholy, is it? Cause if the money been sittin in some
fuckin case in some Nigeria whooperhollin king's house who wears them funny-colored rags all
day, I aint goin near it unless it gets blessed. It must be blessed. yes.
Mrs Kate Hood, you have a funny name. You like hoods? hahahaha I do too, why don't you come
on down to my shack an you can meet my horse, shes real purty, and stay for a drink or two?
Fuck Nigeria an all them hoopin an hollerin zimbabwe dorks, LONG LIVE 9/11 ALL FOR US OF A
LET'S ROLL JIHAD SUCK ON MY DICK!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Pepsi Bimbo
We are happy to inform you that you have just won our monthly PEPSI DRAWS of
Note that your email address was selected via our computer draws held today.
Your File number attached to your ticket is PEP00934/UK. Kindly fill out
the claims verification form below and forward the details to your claims
agent below:
Claims Verification Form Below
1. Your Full Names: 2. Address: 3. Telephone and
Fax Numbers:
4. Occupation: 5. Reference Number: 6. How often do you
drink Pepsi:
Claims Agent
Name: Mrs Cherry Rings
Email: cherryclaimsdesk11@jmail.co.za
Best Regards,
Willie Adams
Pepsi Cola Company U.K
Replied:
OOOOOOMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!! Like srsly omg i have neva totally just one somefin in my
entire effin life OMG dats so kwl.
I dont drik alot of pepsi tho i like coke. both kinds LOL my boyfriend deals it OMG!
But liek if ur GonnA give MEEE free stuff den hellz yea i mite drink it 4rm now on
but i have Qs plzzzz
1. wtf is a pound? uhhh have u guys hurd of the DOLLAR its like so much better wtf is a
pound? i mnot pounding anything lolz im buying with the american dollar its alot better cuz
americas tha richest count in the world dont u kno dat????
2. sterling, is that like GOLD?! OMG GOLD its so pretty i wear alot cuz my bf buys me it
ok heres my info
1. Melissa Kerchiefson. stfu i hate my name omg i wana murder my parents and take more
coke.
2. 123 sutherland drive no not like donald sutherland that weird guy who was in those movies
3. just txt me iv got like some cell phone plan with myspace and facebook and youtube and ooh
shiny things....umm i think iv got like that Ifone thing
4. ummm i go to high school? duh?
5. umm wtf?
6. i told you i dont drink pepsi i drink coke so but like i told u ill be ur bitch if u
put me in commercials and make me a model and stuff the real coke is good stuff and it makes
me rly thin so i think im gona B a model when i get older i just need my bf to buy me some tits
ok so get back to me soon willie do u play sports u can find me on myspace iv got hot pics there
click and theyll take u to my webcam site u can get in FREEEEEEEEE ;o)
Owning Fabrics
Kelley Ko Fabrics
2 Wilmington Court
Tankerville Road
London
SW16 5LN
Hello ,
My name is John kelly , C.E.O to Kelley Ko Fabrics. Kelley Ko
is a textile agency established 1990 by John and Jeanne Kelley
specializing in fashion fabrics for clothing manufactures and many designer ranges. Our office
is located in SW London , We are In search of a Representative in
Your region to Work for us as a Part Time worker and this will not affect
your current state of work.
The main scope of work for this Representative will be to accept
payment via Check or Wire Transfer and then deduct His/Her 10% working
allowance and a extra 5% for effectiveness and send down the rest to
our Head Office In the United Kingdom. If you are Interested, kindly get back
to me with your full name, phone number and residential address to
(kelly.ko13@gmail.com) .
Please note that it wouldn't cost you anything to receive payment on
our company's behalf.Please reply only if you will like to work from
home part-time and get paid weekly without leaving or it affecting your present job
(PAY IS GOOD)
NB: Kelley Ko Fabrics. will never ask you for anything like bank
account number,routing number,credit card,passwords,s.s.n # etc. If
anyone asks for those on our behalf please do not give out this info. This is to ensure
your security and non involvement in cases of Identity Theft.
Regards
John Kelly
Mr. John Kelly:
I am pleased to hear that your business in the UK is doing well. I am also pleased that you
do not wish to know any of my information, as that downright proves without a doubt that
you're not trying to scam me like the other couple of bastards tried to do. I came to their
place of business with a hearty lunch of pizza mixed with a few special ingredients. Needless
to say, their offices won't be doing business anymore.
I do regret to inform you, however, that I cannot do business with your branch. Actually,
your business IS my business. You see, you are owned and operated by Wriggum Services Inc,
and I actually happen to be so far up the corporate ladder that some would say I get orders
directly from God. That's exactly why your business is doing so well.
So as your newfound CEO to your little business, the powers that be command you to relinquish
all of your assets and put them into my account. I'll give you the information later, just
understand now that you won't be able to escape my loving wrath as I take over your company
and eventually the world.
One of the other companies I own is in business to install identifying chips inside the hands
of every individual in the United States. We are working with hospitals to have these chips
implanted into babies as soon as they are born. Once this is entirely implemented, I will rise
to power and the chips will give me the ability to infiltrate security by any means possible.
If someone is doing something they shouldn't, the peacekeeper police will be on them in a moment
of time.
So, to make a long story short, i'm taking over your company and then the world.
KEEP THE PEACE
SUSTAIN ORDER
ALL IN THE NAME OF THE FIFTH REECH